Fade Away
by Vicky1981
Summary: Sequal to Everywhere. Alex and Gene are still dealing with the aftermath of the events of everywhere, and their new relationship when a new danger surfaces.
1. Chapter 1

**_This is the sequal to my fic Everywhere, I would recomend reading that one first._**

**_Huge thanks to Warbs1981 for her beta-ing skills. Please Read and Review._**

**_I don't own ashes to ashes._**

Alex Drake crawled into bed, burying her head into the neck of the man sleeping next to her. He groaned slightly and pulled her closer.

'You fell asleep while I was in the bathroom.' She whispered.

'Well unlike some Bolly, I've been at work today.'

She nudged him gently in the ribs. 'I'll be back tomorrow, no more paid leave for me.'

'You sure you're ready ter go back? The doctor said you could 'ave another week if you wanted.'

Alex sighed, not this again. 'Yes I'm ready. I don't look like a walking bruise anymore and I'm board at home by myself all day.'

He winced slightly at the casual mention of her injuries. 'It's not jus' the physical stuff Alex, wot about all the psychiatry yer so fond of?' He paused as if unsure of whether he should continue. 'I know yer still havin' nightmares.'

Alex shivered slightly as the images from her nightmares swam to the surface. An empty factory, a long sharp knife, cold grey eyes.

'I'm fine.' she said forcefully. 'It's perfectly normal to experience nightmares after an… an ordeal.' She sat up so she was facing him, willing him to understand that she needed this. 'I _need_ to go back to work; I need to be normal again.'

Realising she wasn't going to back down, and knowing that if he was in her position he would be doing exactly the same thing he nodded in agreement. 'Fine, office 'asn't been the same without you anyway.'

She arched an eyebrow. 'Really?'

'Oh yeah, you wouldn't believe 'ow quiet it is, no one shoutin' at me, tellin' me ter make me own tea, spouting insane theories and Chris's arse doesn't look nearly as good in jeans as yours does.'

She snorted. 'Glad to see you've all been missing me.'

They had actually, even Ray he suspected, but he wasn't going to tell her that.

She lay back down, tangling her legs with his, resting her hand over his chest. She smiled as she listened to the steady thump of his heart and wondered for the hundredth time how they had got here. They hadn't spent a night apart since her abduction, Gene had shouted down Shaz's offers to stay with her after she had been discharged from hospital, stating that it was his job to ensure the well being of his officers. They had both received a knowing look from Ray at this announcement and a slightly confused one from Chris. She wondered how much Ray knew about their relationship and how much was just speculation, it worried her. While she knew it was inevitable that at some point everyone at the station would know about them, she definitely wasn't looking forward to becoming the chief subject of gossip at Fenchurch East.

'Bolly do you 'ave ter think so loudly?'

'What?' She hadn't been thinking out loud had she?

'I can 'ear the cogs whirring in that oversized brain of yours. You give it a rest now, there will be plenty of opportunities fer you ter give us insight into your own special brand of insanity tomorrow.'

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Alex walked into CID the next morning and was greeted by a round of applause, Gene had gone in half an hour before her, stating that it was best to remain professional, until everyone knew for sure and her actually arriving on time would only arise suspicion.

'Glad ter see yer feelin' better ma'am.' Chris grinned.

'Thanks Chris.'

Shaz placed a steaming mug of tea in front of her. 'Oh am I glad your back ma'am, they've all been a right nightmare while you've been gone, like children whose parents were away.'

Alex smiled. 'I can imagine.'

Ray strode past her desk, giving her a brief 'alright', before depositing a large stack of files on her desk, with a heavy thud. ''New cases.'' He explained. 'The Guv wants you up to speed.'

Alex glanced ruefully at Gene's office. 'It's good to be back.'

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After spending the entire day reading through every ongoing case she had missed while she was away Alex felt ready to scream. She rubbed her temples, trying to banish the headache that was plaguing her. A quick glance at her watch told her she had another half an hour before she could escape the noisy, crowded, smoke filled room that was CID, leaving early would only convince Gene that she was not ready to return to work, and she was determined not to be proved wrong on that matter.

Gene looked up from the file he was reading, taking in the sight of Alex on the brink of exhaustion. He watched as she massaged her temples, wincing no doubt at the headache that was troubling her. She wouldn't admit to being tired either, not after she had spent the past week telling him she was completely ready to return to work. He glanced round the rest of the room, Ray was reading a newspaper, Shaz was practically sat in Chris's lap as he played her a song on his walkman. No one was working except Alex and it wasn't like what she was doing was urgent, he may as well kick them all out early, no point in them staying while there was no work to do. That was why he was doing it, because there was no point any of them remaining at work for the last half an hour while there was so little to do, definitely not because Alex looked so tired.

Soft bastard. He picked up his coat pulling it over his broad shoulders before bellowing at them at them all to bugger off to Luigi's before he changed his mind.

'Mine's a pint!' He shouted at Chris's retreating highlights, shaking his head, highlights, on a bloke?

Predictably Alex was the last to leave, carefully storing the files away that she had been reading, before turning to face him frowning slightly.

'Why are we off early then Gene? Don't tell me the Manc Lion can't even handle a full day at work.'

'Was bored Bolly.'

'I thought that's why I was back at work.' She smiled suggestively. 'To help you while away the dull hours.'

'You do, but I can't bloody well stare at yer arse when you sit on it all day can I? So come on, shift it and I'll walk behind yer.'

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Alex unenthusiastically sipped her second 'welcome back' drink, and tried to focus on what Shaz was saying. She had been desperate to get back to the normal routine of work followed by Luigi's but now she was there she just wanted to crawl back into bed. The restaurant was too noisy, too hot and thanks to the sudden influx of what seemed to be nearly every officer from Fenchurch East, filled with cigarette smoke.

'Signora Drake, you look beautiful, it's so good to see you back here.'

Alex looked down at Luigi's beaming, honest face and couldn't help but return his smile. 'It's good to be back.'

Luigi's beam stretched even wider as he leant forward to whisper conspiratorially in her ear. 'Mr Hunt, he hasn't taken his eyes off you all evening.'

Alex's gaze flicked over to the corner she knew Gene would be occupying and met his gaze, the intensity in his expression made her shiver slightly as his cool blue eyes bore into hers.

Without glancing back Alex slowly made her way over to the table in the corner, sliding into the seat opposite Gene.

'You look tired Bolls.'

Alex rolled her eyes. 'You really know how to make a girl feel special don't you.'

'I try.'

Alex leant over the small table, close enough to breathe in his scent, to brush her lips against his cheek as she whispered in his ear. 'Actually, I'm not feeling very tired at the moment, maybe you could help to wear me out?' She moved away from him, leaning back in her chair as she watched his reaction with satisfaction.

Gene glanced quickly around the room, nobody was watching them, nobody would notice if they left early. 'Leave the door on the latch; I'll follow you up in ten.'

Alex smiled, standing quickly and making her way unnoticed across the crowded restaurant, up the stairs until she reached her flat.

Once inside she found herself pacing around the small living room, unexpectedly nervous. Gene had stayed at her flat every night since her abduction, holding her, watching over her as she slept but he had made no attempt to take things further and now, Alex was tired of waiting.

Heart pounding in anticipation Alex moved into her bedroom, peeling of her boots, jeans and top until she was clad only in lace bra and knickers. She glanced anxiously into the mirror, patting down imaginary stray hairs and touching up her make-up. She stepped back to take in her full appearance. The black lace contrasted perfectly with her smooth alabaster skin, perfect except for the two faint lines etched into her stomach, the only physical reminder of what had happened to her. She shook her head; don't think about it, not tonight.

She jumped slightly as she heard the door swing open, then firmly shut. She lay back on the bed, smiling as she listened to the familiar footsteps making their way to the bedroom, the soft thud of his coat hitting the sofa, the creak of the bedroom door as he pushed it open.

She heard his breath catch slightly as he took her in, a vision in black lace, waiting only for him.

'Bloody 'ell, you tryin' ter seduce me or wot?' He kicked off his boots and pulled his off tie from where it dangled loosely around his neck.

She gazed up at him as he crawled over her on all fours, and captured his lips in a passionate kiss, reaching up to unbutton his shirt, pushing it down his arms and letting it fall carelessly to the floor, shortly joined by his trousers and boxers.

He moved to her neck, biting gently, loving the soft moans she gave. He moved his attentions lower, unhooking her bra and covering her breasts first with his hands and then his mouth.

'More Gene, please more.'

He grinned moving lower, trailing kisses of fire over her perfect stomach, but stopping dead as he reached them. Two small, neat little lines, barely visible in the dim light of the bedroom. Unwelcome images swam before him and he felt her tense, she knew why he had stopped. He looked back down at them, two lines, forever etched into her so he would never forget, never let her down so badly again. It was his penance, he knew that. He had failed her, he should have been there sooner and those two white lines would always be his reminder.

'Gene?' The uncertainty in her voice cut deep, she didn't deserve this, she hadn't deserved any of it.

'I'm sorry Alex.' It was barely more than a whisper.

He felt her hands in his hair, tugging him back up so she could look at him.

'For what?'

'Yer know wot, I should 'av been there.'

She frowned. 'You were there, you told me you were everywhere remember, and you were.' She reached urgently for his hand, twining their fingers together. 'You saved me.' She whispered.

He shook his head. 'Should have found you sooner, should never have let him take you in the first place. Christ it wasn't even me that found you, Shaz did all the work, I just ran around like a useless twat while she worked out where you were.'

'That's not true, I read the reports, you spent the entire night tearing London apart trying to find me, and you did find me, like I knew you would.'

'Alex..' He began.

'No.' She said firmly. 'You can't keep blaming yourself for this, _you_ found me, _you_ saved me.'

'I can't forget it, if I 'ad listened ter you about Rowland's from the start…'

'Gene please don't do this, I can't keep raking it all up, playing the blame game. What I need from you is for you to be here with me. I need you to stop thinking about the past, stop blaming yourself and start thinking about the future, because I need you there with me. I _really_ need you there with me.'

He nodded. 'Okay.'

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Alex jumped at the crash of the double doors being flung open; she looked up to see Viv hurrying into the room.

'Armed robbery at a jeweller's in progress.' He shouted through Gene's open door.

Alex jumped to her feet, pulling on her jacket, her heart racing as she followed Ray and Chris out of the station. This was the first call she had responded to since she came back to work and she could already feel the adrenalin coursing through her veins. She didn't even mind Gene's erratic driving as the bright red car hurtled towards their destination. This was what she needed, to be back to work properly, taking part in the action again.

Gene felt strangely numb as he drove, one word echoing through his brain, filling him with dread, _armed_. The men in the Jewellers were armed. Could he do it again, could he knowingly send her into another situation where she might be in danger, could he take that risk again?

She would never forgive him if he did it, but it would be worth it, to keep her safe, to keep her in his world.

The car screeched to a halt and Alex jumped out, stopping dead when she saw the expression on Gene's face. His eyes were full of uncertainty, his mouth twisted in a terrible grimace of indecision she had never seen before.

She knew what he was going to say before the words left his mouth, but they still shocked her to her very core.

'Drake, wait in the car.'

'What?'

'You 'eard me, you sit tight love, we'll deal with this.'

Ray and Chris exchanged identical looks of horror; this would not end well for anyone.

Shock quickly turned into anger. 'What do you mean, 'we'll deal with this'? I am a DI and I am more than capable of dealing with a robbery!' Why was he doing this? He knew how important getting back to normal was to her.

'I am not going to tell you again Drake, I am your superior officer and you will do as I say, now get in the car!' Why didn't she understand he couldn't deliberately put in her in danger again?

The sound of shots being fired in the bank brought the Alex back to the situation at hand. They had to stop the robbery; there wasn't time for her and Gene to iron out their issues now.

'Fine.' She hissed, flinging herself back into the car, her cheeks burning with the humiliation of backing down in front of Chris and Ray.

Gene nodded his approval, then turned on his heal running into the jewellers.

Alex slammed the door shut and pushed her head back into the seat, choking back the tears that threatened to engulf her.

How could he do this? Force her to wait behind like a child.

Gunshots and shouts sounded again from the bank, and she felt her stomach tighten with nerves. If he had let her go in she could have resolved in peacefully, without shots being fired. Instead she was sat alone in the car trying to vanquish the thoughts that Gene was the one being fired at.

The door to the jewellers crashed open and she felt a dizzying rush of relief as she saw Ray and Chris forcing two now cuffed would be robbers out of the shop. Her gaze fell on Gene as he followed them out. She could see the tension clearly outlined in every inch of his body, his face however was set, devoid of all emotion and she knew he was steeling himself for the inevitable confrontation.

He let himself back into the Quattro without saying a word, pulling away from the scene without waiting for Ray and Chris.

The heavy silence hung in the air as Gene drove slowly through London, his knuckles tight on the steering wheel under his gloves.

'What are you doing?' Alex said finally, as he drove straight past the station.

'I'm not doin' this at the bloody office.' Gene growled, pulling the car to a halt outside Luigi's.

Not bothering to reply Alex got out of the car, making her way up to her flat, Gene following straight behind her, carefully shutting the door before moving to the kitchen and pouring two large measures of Scotch.

He tried to pass one glass to her but she shook her head, standing rigidly in front of the television. Gene sighed, placing both drinks on the coffee table.

He took a deep breath, where did he even begin? 'I know yer angry wiv me…'

'Angry! Angry doesn't even begin to cover it Gene! How about furious or humiliated? God do you have any idea how that made me feel?'

'I'm sorry.'

His gaze dropped to the floor and her heart couldn't help but melt. He looked so dejected, stood in her flat, eyes on the ground, feet anxiously shuffling as he waited for her response.

Fighting to keep her voice even Alex tried again. 'Why did you do it Gene?'

Because I love you so much that the thought of you being hurt scares me more than anything else in the world. 'I dunno.' He ran a shaky hand through his hair. 'I mean, you've only been back two days, maybe you should wait a while before going out in the field again.'

'That's bullshit Gene. The Super is fine with me going back out in the field and so am I, so why did you make me stay behind?'

He moved away from her to sit on the sofa, needing the distance between them if he was going to do this, to tell her his feelings, to make himself so vulnerable. He tugged anxiously at a stray thread, his eyes everywhere but on her.

Eventually he spoke, his voice barely more than a rasped whisper. 'I can't see you hurt again Alex, I can't allow you to be in a situation where you're gonna be in danger, I just can't.'

'Gene, I'm a Police Officer, my job means that I am going to be in dangerous situations, just the same as yours does.'

'I know, and I know you Alex, yer like to be at the centre, right in the middle of the soddin' danger, an' it _scares_ the shit out of me.' Had he really just said that?

'I can't change that Gene; I can't change who I am any more than you can change who you are. All I can ask is that you trust my judgement and believe that I won't put myself in any unnecessary danger.'

He nodded slowly. 'I trust yer judgement Bolls, but I 'ave a very different definition of 'necessary danger' when it comes ter you.'

She moved to sit next to him, taking his hands. 'I'm not going to be careless, but I need to be where the action is, you can't keep me locked away.'

'That's not wot I want.'

'Good.' She smiled at him. 'So will you let me do my job now?'

'Yeah, okay, but I swear if any other piece of scum so much as looks at you..'

'Then you'll beat the shit out them until they stop.' She finished, moving closer to him. 'Now are you going to kiss me?'

'I'll do more than bloody kiss yer.' He growled, pushing her onto her back and capturing her mouth with his.

He kissed her hard on the mouth, biting her lip, as she tangled her fingers in his hair. He brought his hands down to cover her breasts through her blouse, squeezing gently and she gasped into his mouth. He shifted his attention to the buttons on her blouse, eagerly ripping them open and she mimicked his movements with shaking hands, desperate to feel his skin against hers.

He tossed her blouse to the floor, before swiftly reaching around to unhook her bra, exposing her breasts to his hungry gaze. He bent his head to take one pink nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it before biting gently.

'Oh God Gene.'

He felt her hands on his belt buckle, as she pushed his trousers and boxers down his legs.

'I need you… need you inside me.' She gasped as he moved his attentions to her other breast.

He laughed and unzipped her jeans, pushing them away from her body, before slipping his fingers under the lace of her knickers. His fingers found her clit, and they swirled confidently over the tiny bundle of nerves, making Alex twitch, before ripping away her soaked knickers entirely.

He raised himself up over her, positioning himself at her entrance and pausing there, looking into her eyes.

Alex felt as if he was staring into her very soul. 'Please.' she whispered.

He slid into her in one smooth motion, thrusting gently, making her whimper.

Alex's hands found his arse, gripping firmly. 'Harder Gene, show me that you still want me.'

'Always want you.' He groaned, before speeding up, thrusting hard and deep, bringing his hands between their bodies to caress and pinch her into orgasm.

He felt her clench around him as she gasped out his name, and he let himself go releasing into her with a muffled shout.

They collapsed on the sofa together, panting and laughing.

'Flamin' 'ell Bolly I've missed your sofa.'


	2. Chapter 2

Okay first of all massive apologies for the huge delay in posting this chapter, I blame real life but mostly uni deadlines!

Massive thanks to Warbs1981 for beta-ing this chapter for me, please read and review.

Sadly I do not own Ashes to Ashes.

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Gene awoke first that morning, gently rolling over to gaze at the woman lying next to him. His eyes took in the soft brown curls tousled from sex and sleep, the scattering of faint freckles, the still slightly swollen full lips. His eyes traced a path down the elegant curve of her neck, watching the steady rise and fall of her chest as she slept. She was perfect.

'Stop watching me sleep Gene.'

Shit. 'I was watchin' yer tits Bolly not you.'

Without opening her eyes Alex firmly folded her arms over her breasts.

'Well now you've just made 'em look even bigger.'

'Go back to sleep Gene.' He could hear the faint hint of annoyance to her voice, the one that never failed to turn him on, he couldn't help it.

'Can't.' He moved closer, gently pushing her arms away and placing several insistent kisses to her neck, smiling into her skin as her moans of protest became moans of approval and desire.

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Two hours later Alex was seated at her desk, trying desperately to block out the story she could hear Ray telling Chris that apparently involved identical twins with their own nurses outfits. She doubted very much whether it was true but still didn't want to hear the details, imaginary or otherwise. Chris was eagerly hanging onto Ray's every word, oblivious to glares he was receiving from Shaz. Alex smiled sympathetically at the young W.P.C, before standing and making her way over to her desk.

'Shaz, I er, I wanted to thank you.'

Shaz gave her a vague smile, her attention still focussed on Chris. 'For what Ma'am?'

'When I was, when Rowlands… Gene told me how you figured it out, told him where to find me, I just wanted to thank you, if it hadn't been for you…' Alex trailed off, unable to finish. Despite her previous reassurances to Gene, she was still struggling to cope with how close she had come, if Gene had been even a minute later…

Shaz simply smiled. 'Well I reckon we're even then Ma'am after you saved me, an' anyway it was the Guv that saved you, I just told 'im where to look.'

'Bolly stop gossipin', what d'you think this is a flamin' mothers meetin', Raymondo same ter you'. Gene strode past them all out of the office, certain in the knowledge they would follow him as they always did.

'Wot's 'appenin' Guv?' Ray called.

'Tip off 'bout a car bomb.'

Alex felt her stomach turn over.

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They arrived seconds after the bomb squad did, and stood back as instructed while they went to work diffusing it.

Alex could sense Gene's impatience as he stood next to her, shifting from one foot to the other and she almost smiled, knowing how being told to stand back and wait rankled him.

After what seemed an age they were given the all clear and Gene marched over to the car, a battered old brown Peugeot, speaking briefly to one officer before shouting at them all to hurry up. Seemingly on autopilot Alex walked over. She stopped as she saw the officer carefully carrying the fragile device away from the scene, the memories hitting her almost as a physical force. She could hear the eerie lyrics of David Bowie, see the determined resignation in her father's eyes, the red balloon was floating along in front of her.

Gene looked at her; she was pale, too pale. Her eyes had glazed over, as she stood there, enveloped in whatever pain she felt was too personal to share with him. She had told him that she was fine, that she was dealing with what Rowlands had done, evidently she wasn't but she had no intention of telling him that. She wouldn't let him in, wouldn't let him help her in the way he wanted to, so he tried another method.

'Drake!'

She jumped, the memories vanishing, looking up at Gene. She saw the annoyance in his eyes but also the briefest flash of concern.

'Drake if all yer gonna do is piss around day dreamin' then you can go an' wait in the car, an' take Ray with you, the pair of you are about as useful as a rubber crutch!'

His words hurt but Alex was grateful for an excuse to escape the painful reminder of her parents' death, she turned to Ray and found him stood stock still staring at the car. She gestured towards the Quattro and he grunted and followed her.

The silence hung thick and heavy as they made their way back to the car, each lost in their own pain.

'I don't like car bombs.' The words stumbled from her mouth before she could stop them; she needed to let it out, needed to tell someone.

Ray looked at her, an expression she had never seen before in his eyes.

'Me neither.'

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Gene sat in his office chain smoking, feet on the desk, his mind racing. He hadn't said a word to Alex since they had arrived back at the station, he knew they needed to talk but he couldn't bring himself to instigate the conversation, he was afraid of what she might say.

They needed to talk, but not here, at the flat, they had already been acting unprofessionally. His apparent inability to separate their professional and personal lives scared him, more than he liked to admit, even to himself.

Making his decision he stood up, grabbing his coat.

'Right gentlemen lunch time.' He bellowed, wincing inwardly at the fact he was letting them off early again because of Alex, they needed to sort this.

He grasped Alex's elbow as she moved to follow the eager crowd out of the door. 'We need to talk, your place.'

Alex nodded a sinking feeling in her stomach. She knew he would want an explanation for the afternoon, and she knew she couldn't possibly give him one.

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Once inside the flat Alex perched gingerly on the edge of the sofa, tension in every muscle of her body. This feeling was not helped when she realised Gene was going to remain stood, looming over her as she sat on the sofa, feeling every inch the disobedient child. It angered her, his need to maintain his control over the situation, his refusal to sit next to her and speak to her as an equal.

Gene stood stiffly, his gaze fixed on the wall; he needed to compose himself, to keep some distance if his temper was going to remain in check. Finally, taking a deep breath he began.

'Wot 'appened at the bomb scene Alex? You told me you were ready ter come back ter work, but obviously yer not.' Why couldn't she confide in him? 'If yer not fit for field work then just say… its understandable if you never wanna go out on a call again.'

Alex flinched slightly, he thought this was about Rowlands, of course he did, how would he ever realise the truth? She certainly couldn't tell him. Could she keep lying to him though? Look him in the eye and tell him such a blatant lie after they had gotten so close? Could she lie to the man that she…

'I'm sorry, I am ready I just…' She trailed off, not knowing how to justify feelings she wasn't even having.

'You froze Alex, I saw you, yer just stood there. Yer can't be like that in the job we do, someone could get 'urt, _you_ could get 'urt.'

The concern in his voice stung her as the guilt became harder to bear.

'I know, I'm sorry.' She repeated pathetically, unable to argue with him.

He felt as though his insides were splitting as he looked at her, this wasn't his Alex feebly apologising for something that wasn't her fault, why was he doing this to her?

He slumped down onto the sofa next to her and she turned to face him, needing the conversation to be over before she had to lie to him again.

'I'm sorry; it really won't happen again, let me prove it to you please Gene.'

He nodded, giving in to her as he had known he would.

'Fine, but one more cock up like that an' I'll stick you on desk duty fer the rest of yer life, fer yer own sake as much as anyone else's!'

She nodded feeling tears pricking the back of her eyes. At last he put his arm around her, letting her cling to him until she was calm.

When eventually she pulled away her eyes were unusually bright but he could see a glimmer of the old Alex back, his Alex.

'So, what did you find in the car?'

Gene grunted. 'Nothin', left it ter forensics to check fer prints, got plod tryin' ter trace the owner.' He gave her a humourless smile. 'Don't worry somethin'll turn up, always does.'

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Something, however did not turn up. No finger prints were found on the car or the bomb device, and despite Ray and Chris's best efforts no one had come forward as a witness. The car had been traced back to a Mr Backhouse, a local school teacher who had an alibi for the time the device was planted, and had no idea why anyone would want to blow up his car. No amount of brainstorming and charts from Alex, or threats and bribes from Gene, had been able to turn up any new leads.

'Come on Bolls, may as well give up fer tonight, get yer arse down ter Luigis.'

Alex took a deep breath, she had been trying to decide all day how best to persuade him to do this and had so far only come up with the idea of promising to do things she really didn't want to do. She decided to just wing it.

'Actually I was thinking maybe we could do something a little different tonight.'

Gene surveyed her carefully, the faintest hint of suspicion in his eyes. 'Like wot, Spanish instead of Italian?'

'Well its just Shaz knows this great club, Blitz and she's managed to get us on the guest list, we can get in for free, we have access to the V.I.P lounge, might be fun.' She trailed off.

Gene was frowning. 'The blitz? Ain't that full o' them wotcha call em? _New romantics?_ You feelin' suddenly overcome by romance Bolly, coz I 'ave ter tell yer I'm just not that sort of bloke.'

'Come on please, it'll be nice to go somewhere different for a change, you might even enjoy it.' That she highly doubted.

Gene planted his hands firmly on her desk, leaning forwards so his face was inches from hers. 'Wot you gonna do fer me in return then Bolls?' A filthy leer now fixed on his face.

She sighed. 'Anything you want when we get back to my flat... You know I wouldn't make this much fuss if you wanted to drag me to a football match or something.'

Gene laughed. 'I would never take you to the football Alex, there're some things you just don't do wiv a bird an' that's one of 'em.'

'Neanderthal.' Alex muttered under her breath. 'So you're coming with me then?'

'If you can promise me I won't 'ave to witness Skelton prancin' around in eyeliner.'

Alex grinned grabbing her jacket. 'Sorry Gene, I'm not a miracle worker.'

He followed her out of C.I.D. 'Well yer takin' me ter Luigis first then, I'm not goin' anywhere near men wiv slap on unless I'm pissed.'

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Several hours later Gene and Alex were making their way through the crowded London streets to Blitz.

Alex stumbled slightly clutching Gene's arm for support. 'I thought it was you that was supposed to get drunk not me.'

He wrapped his arm around her waist placing his hand firmly on her arse. 'Well I'm sure you'll think of a way ter make it up to me Bolls.' He glanced down the end of the street they were walking along. 'Bloody 'ell are we there yet?'

'Yes, it's just round this corner, come on.' Alex tugged at his hand and he quickened his pace.

The couple hurried along the pavement, Alex laughing as Gene grumbled, teasing him gently about applying some of her lipstick, squealing in mock horror as he threatened to throw the bloody thing down the drain.

And then it happened, a bomb blast, strong enough to knock both of them to the ground.

Gene was on his feet immediately, instinct kicking in as he pulled Alex up with him, quickly checking to see she had not been hurt and then running in the direction the blast.

They rounded the corner coming face to face with a building blown clean in half, the letters B and Z the only remaining parts of the sign that had once stood proudly on the front of the building; the sounds of chaos filled their ears.


	3. Chapter 3

Once again huge apologies for the delay in this chapter, if anyone is still remotely interested in this fic then I hope you enjoy it! Thank you to all of you who have read, reviewed, favourited and alerted my fics!

I still don't own ashes to ashes.

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Alex gazed at the sea of destruction in front of her, she could hear screams coming from the building and she swayed slightly as her alcohol addled brain tried to make sense of the situation. Then she remembered.

'Shaz!' She grabbed at Gene's arm pulling him around to face her. 'Shaz and Chris they're in there, I told them we would meet them inside, oh God.

Gene felt his blood run cold. Chris and Shaz… in there. He turned to face the collapsed building again; the very centre of the club had collapsed almost entirely into itself, nobody who had been stood in that area could have survived. He felt a wave of nausea rising up inside him, they were just kids, had barely even begun to live their lives yet.

'Gene.' Alex pulled him back to her, her eyes speaking the words she couldn't bring herself to form.

'I know.'

The whir of sirens could be heard now, as the first ambulances and fire engines began to arrive. Gene strode over to the first fireman.

'D.C.I Gene Hunt, the buildin' collapsed about ten minutes ago, looks like a bomb blast.'

The Officer nodded, before barking instructions to his men, three of them making their way cautiously into the building whilst the rest began to tackle the fires.

'I'm goin' in there with them.'

The Officer turned back to face him. 'You can't, you don't have the correct training or equipment, it's against the rules.'

'Two of my finest officers wer in that buildin' so don't you dare start tellin' me about the soddin' rules.'

The Officer shock his head. 'I'm sorry but you just can't, you need protective clothing and…'

'So give me it.' Gene looked the man square in the eye. 'My officers are in there an' I'm goin' in there ter find them, with or without yer poxy equipment.'

The man regarded Gene steadily, eventually giving him a terse nod before removing his own helmet and passing it to Gene, who raised his eyebrows.

'We don't carry spares you know, this is the best I can offer.'

'Thanks mate.'

He made his way back over to Alex, stripping his coat off and handing it to her.

'I'm gonna go in an' try ter find 'em, stay 'ere.'

'No Gene you can't.' Her eyes flashed in panic. 'You don't have the training or-'

'Bloody woman, just stop fer once with yer poncey rules an' regulations. I'm goin' in there ter find them, okay.'

Alex let out a shaky breath. 'Fine, then I'm comin' with you.'

'No, you stay 'ere.'

She huffed in anger. 'Just because I am a woman doesn't mean I am any less capable than you Gene! You have no more training than I do for this type of situation, if you're going in there then so am I!'

He placed a restraining arm on her shoulder. 'No yer not. It's bad enough that two of my team are in there, I'm not gonna let you make it any worse by raisin' the number ter three. Stay 'ere Bolls.'

She sighed, as much as his blatant sexism and misogyny angered her at times she was also touched by his concern for her safety.

'Fine, I'll wait here.' She grasped his arm as he turned to walk away from her. 'Just be careful… please.'

He met her eyes for a second before looking away again. 'I'm not a fairy.'

She gave up and collapsed down onto the cold ground watching Gene walk away with a sinking feeling in her stomach.

xxxxxxxxxx

The seconds slowly ticked by and Alex felt as if she had been waiting for what seemed to be an eternity when she heard him.

'Ma'am? Wot are yer doin'? Wot's 'appened?'

She turned to see Chris his face filled with horror as he took in the scene in front of him. The collapsed building, emitting thick clouds of dark smoke.

Alex leapt to her feet. 'Chris! You're not in the building! Shaz, where is Shaz?' She gripped his arm urgently and as she watched the colour drain from his face she knew the answer.

'She's in there.' He gasped out. 'She forgot this.' He waved a small brightly coloured clutch bag at her. 'Left it at the station, I said I'd run back fer it, so she didn't…' His voice broke as he tried to choke back the emotion. 'So she didn't get cold… walkin' back ter the station fer it, oh God she's in there.'

He lurched away from her. 'I've got ter find 'er.'

'No Chris!' Alex grabbed his arm once again. 'The Guv's in there, he'll find her, please just stay here.'

He shook his head. 'You don't get it ma'am, you think I'm just a daft kid, you all do, but the way I feel about her… I can't be without 'er, I can't.' He broke down, hot tears splashing his face.

Alex pulled him into a tight embrace. 'I know how you feel about her Chris, we all do, we see the way you look at her.' She stepped back so she could look him in the eye as she fought not to cry herself. 'The Guv is in there okay, he _will_ find her, but she needs you to wait out here for her, she needs you to be here to hold her hand when they bring her out okay?'

He nodded, slowly sinking to the ground. 'I can't be without 'er boss, I can't.'

Alex mirrored his movements. 'I know Chris.'

He looked at her. 'How could you possibly know how I'm feeling?'

She looked into his eyes, willing him to understand. 'Gene's in there.'

He blinked in slow understanding. 'You… you an' the Guv.'

Alex nodded, feeling the tears building again. 'I love him Chris.' The realisation hitting her like a ton of bricks as she sat there on the freezing pavement, thick smoke choking her lungs. 'I love him and I never even told him.'

'Bolly!'

Alex's head snapped round to see Gene staggering towards her, his face and hair thick with ash. She jumped up and flung her arms around him, not caring who was watching.

She pulled away. 'Shaz?'

Gene shook his head. 'Couldn't see anything, couldn't breath.' He lowered his eyes to the ground. 'Couldn't do nothin'.

Chris seized his coat sleeve. 'You didn't find her? You just left her in there?'

'Chris.' Alex placed a warning hand on his arm.

Chris ignored her, his eyes wide with fear. 'You're supposed to be the Guv! You always fix things, why can't yer fix this?'

Gene still had made no reply, Chris's words hitting him like a kick in the gut. He had failed, his job was to protect his team, to keep them safe, to be strong when they weren't and he couldn't, he was stood outside while better, younger men did his job for him.

Chris dropped his coat sleeve as if it were dirty, shaking his head. 'If you can't find her then I will.' He tried to peel off his own jacket, the tight denim sleeves catching around his wrists as he blinked back furious tears.

'Chris don't.' Alex began.

'Detective Constable Christopher Skelton stay where you are.'

Chris stopped his struggle with his jacket, shocked by Gene's sudden transformation into his authoritarian role as his Gov.

'You wouldn't ask a fireman ter 'elp you out wiv an armed blag so you just sit back down and let them do _their _job.'

Defeated Chris sank back down to the ground. Alex joined him, shivering slightly. Gene rolled his eyes and tugged his coat more firmly around her shoulders.

The hours dragged, each time a body was carefully removed from the ruined building a fresh wave of dread filled them only to be replaced by the helpless not knowing.

Alex was resting her head gently on Gene's shoulder, assuming he was too tired and concerned about Shaz's safety to protest at such a public display of affection when she saw it.

A fireman carrying a young woman, no more than a girl really. The girls face was turned towards his chest but Alex saw the shock of short black hair, now filthy with ash.

'Chris!' She tugged his head out of his hands.

He was on his feet in an instant. 'Shaz.' Heart pounding as he ran to the fireman, carefully turning the woman's head and gazing into the familiar face.

He couldn't speak.

'Is she…' Alex had arrived next to him.

'She's alive, but she needs to get to a hospital now, you should follow on behind the ambulance.'

Alex nodded her thanks not trusting herself to speak. She turned to ask Gene about getting to the hospital but saw he was already forcibly removing a uniformed officer from his patrol car.

'Oh stop bein' such a poof, you'll get it back in one piece!'

'Probably.' Alex finished under her breath as she and Chris hurried over to him.

xxxxxxxxxx

They had been sat on the hard plastic chairs of the waiting room for several hours before there was any news.

'Christopher Skelton?'

Chris looked up, his eyes swollen and with exhaustion. 'Wot's 'appened? Is she gonna be okay?'

The doctor smiled. 'She was very lucky, a broken arm, cracked ribs and severe smoke inhalation. She's under sedation now, but with no complications she should make a full recovery.'

'Can I see 'er?'

'Of course, although she won't be awake for several hours yet.'

Chris nodded and the three of them rose to follow the doctor.

Her face was paper white, marred only by the livid bruise beginning to form over her right eye. Alex saw Chris bite his lip in horror as he took in his fiancé.

'It's just bruising Chris, all superficial damage, she's still Shaz, everything will be okay.'

He nodded sinking into the empty chair by her bed.

Gene cleared his throat, the first sound he had made since entering the hospital and jerked his head towards the door.

Alex nodded. 'We'll leave you alone with her now Chris, we'll come back tomorrow when she's awake.'

Chris nodded again although Alex doubted he had heard a word of what she said. She turned back and followed Gene out of the door, neither of them speaking until they had left the hospital.

Gene leant against the wall outside the hospital, allowing his head to rest against the cool brickwork and letting out a small groan before lighting the fag he was suddenly desperately craving.

'You should get yourself checked out Gene, you inhaled a lot of smoke and those things won't help.'

Gene glared at her. 'According ter your all too frequent complaints I'm more than used to inhaling large amounts of smoke so I don't need some poncey arsed doctor tellin' me wot we all already know Bolls!'

'Gene smoke inhalation is extremely serious, you know that the number one cause of fire related deaths is smoke inhalation, it can cause air ways to collapse and-'

'I think I would have noticed if me bloody air way 'ad collapsed Bolly, now stop jabberin' on 'an' get in the car, we need ter get some kip before we catch these bomb setting bastards.'

Alex rolled her eyes but did as she was told, settling into the passenger seat of the car. 'So you assume that the two bombs were related then?' She asked a slight frown crinkling her forehead.

Gene closed his eyes. 'In the mornin' Bolls, can't go makin' any assumptions till I've slept, eaten an' hopefully shagged you.'

'It's just that the targets don't fit together, a car in a quiet area, with a minimum amount of potential casualties and then a popular night club, it just-'

'I said in the mornin' Alex.


	4. Chapter 4

Again I am sorry for the lateness of this Chapter, I've been working seven days a week and haven't had much time to write… but that's all finished now so hopefully updates will be a bit more frequent! Thanks to everyone who continues to read and review!

I don't own Ashes to Ashes.

xxxxxxxxxx

The shrill of the alarm startled Alex into consciousness and she blearily lent over, fumbling on the dressing table as she tried to locate the alarm and it's off button. She hit the small rectangle and the noise stopped just as she felt Gene's hand wandering up her leg.

'Gene, we have to get to work, 'bomb setting bastards' remember.'

He pulled her towards him, running his hands along her ribcage up to her breasts, gently grazing them with his fingertips. 'You know when you swear it only turns me on, that posh, private school voice cursing away, an' anyway I remember a certain promise you made about doing anythin' I wanted when were in the flat.'

She grinned. 'I think that promise has expired Gene, you should have collected on it when you had the chance.'

'Wot when we were in the bloody patrol car? Actually I do quite like the thought of that.'

'Well I'm sure the poor P.C who has to drive it wouldn't so you'll just have to think of something else.'

He kissed her softly, running his thumbs over her nipples, feeling her gasp into his mouth. 'Well right now this beds seemin' like a pretty good idea.'

She kissed him hard on the mouth, sliding her hand down his torso to find him already hard. She squeezed him gently. 'We really don't have time Gene.' Nipping at his lower lip.

'I'll be quick. In, out; yer won't even know I was there.'

'That I doubt very much.'

'Keep goin' with that Alex yer workin' wonders fer me ego.'

She laughed. 'Your ego doesn't need any help, its big enough without any assistance from me.'

He moved over her so he was straddling her, dipping his head to take an aching nipple into his mouth, relishing her soft moans. He felt her fingers twining into his hair as he snuck his hand down between their bodies to gently caress her, feeling her wet heat on his fingers.

'Alright then.' She gasped out. 'Just a quick one.'

He lifted his head, eyes glinting. 'Be over in a jiffy.'

Xxxxxxxxxx

'Bolly! Would you bloody hurry up!' Gene bellowed in the general direction of the bedroom.

'Why are you waiting for me? I thought we weren't supposed to go into work together, we're being professional remember?'

'I'm not gonna wait fer yer but as your boss I would appreciate it if just fer once you could arrive at the same time as the rest of us do!'

The bedroom door opened and a tube of mascara sailed out, narrowly missing his ear.

'Oi!'

'It's my 'bosses' fault I'm late anyway, I _said _we didn't have time but you seem to have all the self control of a… a sock!'

'You very quickly changed your mind about not having enough time, in fact I distinctly remember you telling me _not _to stop!' He paused, frowning. 'A sock?'

'Yes a bloody sock, now go away so I can finish getting ready in peace, I'll be quicker if I'm not having this ridiculous argument with you!'

'You're the one who's bloody ridiculous.' Gene muttered as he grabbed his coat and made for the door.

'Oh thanks, I love you too!'. It burst out before she could stop it. Shit, they hadn't said I love you yet. Shit, shit, shit! Please don't let him be freaked out, please let this be okay.

'Gene?' Alex peered out around the bedroom door to find the flat empty. He'd left, just walked out. She felt a wave of panic wash over her, she needed Gene, she relied upon him in so many ways. She hadn't meant it, that was just what you said when someone you liked insulted you, she said it to her friends all the time for Christ's sake! The panic was quickly being replaced with anger.

Fine she thought angrily, if he wants to act like a child, running away when things get scary then sod him! She slammed her bedroom door shut and continued getting ready, trying to ignore the way her hands were shaking.

xxxxxxxxxx

Much later than was technically acceptable Alex arrived at CID. She glanced over at Gene's office to see him apparently engrossed in paper work and determinedly not looking at her. Sighing she turned to Ray.

'Ray bring me up to speed please, have we had any leads on last nights bomb?'

Ray shook his head. 'We're still waiting fer forensics, its gonna take them a while because the buildin' was so badly damaged. Skips ringing everyone that we know was in the club last night ter get them to come in and give a statement so we're just waiting fer them ter start arriving.'

Alex nodded, a small frown creasing her brow. 'Was there a tip off this time?'

Ray shook his head. 'No, nothing.'

She smiled in triumph. 'I knew it! It's a completely different M.O! The first bomb was set on a quiet street and we were given warning, it clearly wasn't intended to produce mass casualties; but last nights bomb was in a busy location and we were given no warning! I don't think we should treat these attacks as being linked, at least not until we can compare the two forensic reports.'

'Wot if the first bomb was just a warnin', wot if it's some nut job workin' 'is way up, plannin' a big finish?'

Alex turned to see Gene leaning in the office of his doorway. She searched his face for some clue as to his feelings about what had happened earlier but found nothing.

'There would still be some similarity in the attacks. Criminals have patterns, certain traits or characteristics and so far there are none that I can see that indicate any kind of link between these two attacks. I really think we should be looking for two separate bombers.'

'You just 'ave ter make my life that little bit 'arder don't you Drake.' His words seemed to be laced with unspoken meaning and Alex didn't know how to reply. She could feel Ray's curious gaze on her back as he sensed this was something more than the usual disagreements between his two superior officers. Her face began to flush as she realised she had no retort, not with the morning's incident hanging so freshly between them. The silence seemed to stretch as she struggled to meet Gene's gaze until it was most unexpectedly broken.

'It doesn't matter if it's one or one hundred bombers we're lookin' for we're gonna get 'em, fer Shaz.'

Alex turned in surprise for the second time that morning. 'Chris? Chris, you shouldn't be here, you need to rest.'

'How's Shaz?' Gene asked in an uncharacteristically public display of concern.

'She woke up this mornin', only fer a few minutes though, the pain killers were makin' 'er all woozy.'

'You should be with her Chris, she'll want you to be there when she wakes up again.' Alex said quietly, her mind drifting to 2008, to the cold clinical room she was lying in. Was Molly still waiting for her, or had she given up? 'Unlikely she will ever wake up' her own prognosis swam round her head making her feel dizzy as she tried to accept it. Unlikely her doctor had said, but not impossible, somehow that seemed to make it worse. Should she try to build a life here? Live this strange existence to the full until the day she woke up, or focus her attentions solely on getting home without forming any ties to this world? The slight flip of her stomach as she glanced back at Gene told her it was already too late for the former option.

Chris shook his head. 'I'll be there when I can look 'er in the eye an' tell 'er I've caught the bastard that did this to 'er.'

Alex couldn't help the small smile that spread across her face. Sometimes she forgot that Chris was a copper, that beneath the awkward often foolish exterior lay a brave man who had joined the force because he wanted to catch criminals and protect others.

'Good man.' Gene gave Chris a firm clap on his shoulder, firm enough to knock Chris so far forward that he almost fell.

Chris cleared his throat awkwardly, as if suddenly realising he had very much made himself the centre of attention. 'So er… what leads do we 'ave.'

'None so far, we're still waiting on forensics and witnesses from the club to arrive for interviewing.' Alex supplied.

Chris nodded. 'Right then.' He looked around as if searching the office for some new clue or task that would lead them to their bomber.

Gene rolled his eyes. 'Chris, Ray an' Bolly start helpin' Viv phone the witnesses from last night. I'll be in my office when they get 'ere.'

Alex nodded and dutifully followed Chris and Ray out of the room. Although logically she knew that it was Gene's job as her superior to delegate responsibilities to her she still couldn't help feeling like he was using his power to send her away. Had it really bothered him so much that he could no longer stand the sight of her?

She took the list Viv handed her and settled down to the mindless task of phoning the witnesses.

xxxxxxxxxx

Several hours later Alex's head was aching. She had spent the day interviewing those present at the club at the time of the explosion and so far everyone had told her the same thing, namely that they knew nothing.

She turned her attention to the latest interviewee, a slim girl with a shock of dark hair contrasting dramatically against the pallor of her skin.

'Thank you for coming in to see us, my name is DI Alex Drake, I just want to ask you some questions about last night.'

The girl nodded and Alex was about to begin the now painful routine of confirming the witnesses full name and address when the door was flung open.

'Inspector I want you wiv me while I interview the owner of the club, send this one ter Ray.' With that he turned on his heal and left, not bothering to close the door behind him.

Alex felt a stab of anger. How dare he ignore her all day, give no indication of his feelings about what had happened that morning and then burst in on her, embarrass her in front of a potential witness and demand that he needed her somewhere else!

She turned to the girl. 'I'm so sorry about that, I'll take you back up to the desk and the Sergeant will take you to DS Carling who will conduct your interview.'

The girl merely shrugged, as if she expected nothing less from the Met.

xxxxxxxxxx

Alex made her way to Gene's office, purposefully walking as slowly as she could. How could things between them have deteriorated so quickly? Was one Freudian slip all that it took to send Gene running for the hills? How could she even contemplate a future in this world if the man she had planned it around was acting like an angry child.

She opened his door without knocking.

'DI Drake, good of you ter join us.'

Alex said nothing, briefly noting that Gene had neglected to fetch a chair from the main office for her and choosing to lean awkwardly against the window sill. She took in the man seated at Gene's desk. He looked to be in his mid- thirties, his clothing and dark hair were both immaculate but the dark rings under his eyes gave away the stress he was under. His hands rested on the table in front of him and Alex could see that they were fisted so tightly that his nails had left deep marks across his palms. He was definitely nervous and quite possibly hiding something.

'Mr Brett 'ere is the owner of the club.' Gene lent back slightly, indicating that it was to be Alex that would begin the interview.

'Mr Brett, do you have any idea of why anyone would want to blow up your club?' She began.

He shook his head. 'It's just a club, no different from any of the others in London, I've got no idea why someone would want to target it.'

'Have you received any threats from anyone recently?'

Again he shook his head vehemently.

'You haven't had an argument that escalated into something more? Think carefully Mr Brett, is there anyone that you may have given cause to seek revenge upon you?'

'No.' He was becoming agitated, shifting anxiously in his seat. 'Look shouldn't you be out there catching whoever did this not interviewing me, I mean I'm the victim here!'

He was definitely hiding something she was sure. She could see Gene shifting impatiently in the corner of her eye and knew that he also suspected that Brett was lying and that he would not give her much longer to attempt to prise the truth from him without resorting to violence.

She decided to change tack. 'Mr Brett do you have any family? Is there anyone close to you who could maybe have been the intended target of the bomb? Do you have a wife or children who help you run the club?'

'No I do not have a wife, nor do I have any children and I fail to see what my marital status has to do with this investigation!'

He was really rattled now, why had the mention of family angered him so much?

Gene sighed impatiently, sitting up suddenly to his full intimidating height and leaning towards Brett his hands splayed apart over the table. 'Mr Brett.' He spat the man's name from his lips as if it had personally affronted him in some way. 'Could the reason you don't have a family have anything to do with the fact that you are as bent as a nine bob note?'

'Guv-' Alex began.

But Brett was already resignedly nodding his head. 'Yes, I'm gay, a queer, a fairy, are you happy now?'

'Well not especially no. You've wasted my time and I 'ave no desire to see a man who spends most of his time in brown town sat at my bloody desk in my bloody office!'

'Stop it Guv!' The edge to Alex's voice made him look up, she sounded more upset than angry with him and he felt the first stab of guilt over his behaviour.

He watched her shift uncomfortably against the windowsill and felt a twinge of remorse for his childish actions. He stood up, indicating that she should take the chair. It was both a silent apology and a recognition that her methods would be of more use in this interview than his own.

She took the chair without a word and took a deep breath before beginning to question Brett again.

'Mr Brett is your sexuality common knowledge?'

He sighed, his head sinking into his hands. 'Not until a few months ago. I was always very discreet, not even my own parents know for Christ's sake!' His voice trembled slightly and Gene snorted in disgust.

'Go on Mr Brett.' She said gently.

'I was seen one night with another man, I was drunk and careless and for one stupid moment I didn't care who saw me.'

Alex nodded in sympathetic understanding.

'A group of lads were shouting at us, I thought they were just drunken teenagers, that they would lose interest once we left.' He paused again, trying to compose himself.

'But they didn't did they?' Alex said quietly.

He shook his head. 'They followed me back to the club, I've got a flat above it that I sometimes stay at when I've had a few too many to drive. I locked myself in and they left, I thought that would be the end of it, but they came back two nights later. They were shouting more abuse, smashing windows, scratching my car, that sort of thing.'

'You didn't contact the police at any time?'

'Why so I could sit here and get more abuse hurled at me from the likes of him.' He jerked his thumb angrily in Gene's direction. 'No thank you!'

Alex cursed herself, of course he hadn't been to the police. 'Mr Brett do you believe it is possible that the gang that have been terrorising you could have stepped up their game to the extent of planting a bomb in your club?'

'I don't know, I don't know what anyone's capable of anymore. Can I go now please, I just… I need to go home now.'

'Before you go you need to give descriptions of the gang to PC Suthers, he will work with you to create a picture of them that will hopefully allow us to trace them.'

'I can't I don't want people to know, what would they say when they knew the truth about me, who I really am.' His face was wracked with anxiety.

Alex felt a wave of empathy for the man opposite her and the huge secret he was forced to bear. 'I know its hard Mr Brett but without your help we can't do anything to prevent them from hurting you or someone else again.' She felt guilty, knowing how she would feel if someone was attempting to force her to relinquish her own secret, to tell them who she really was. 'Please Mr Brett.' Alex forced her conscience back down.

At last he nodded, looking far older than he had when she had first laid eyes upon him. 'Okay. Okay I'll do this sketch and then I can go?'

Alex nodded. 'Yes, we will contact you as soon as we have any information.'

xxxxxxxxxx

By time Alex had set Brett up with PC Suthers it was almost six and she found herself cautiously making her way back to Gene's office. She needed to talk to him, to explain that she hadn't meant it. No! Why should she explain, any adult man capable of being in a real relationship would have seen it for what it was, a mistake, a slip of the tongue. Surely it was he who should be doing the explaining.

She knocked at his door before entering his office, trying to appear as if she wasn't on the offensive.

She surveyed him cautiously. His tie was discarded on his desk, crumpled next to the half empty tumbler of scotch his long fingers were tightly wrapped around. He looked so tired and in that moment all she wanted was to prise the glass from his fingers and curl up against him until all of his worries faded away.

'Gene, can we talk about this morning?'

Gene closed his eyes. He really didn't want this now, he knew he'd been a dickhead running off like that, she hadn't meant anything by it, of course she hadn't. He forced his eyes to open, drinking her in. She looking amazing, her clothes, her hair, but he found he could see through it all now. He could see her strength but also her vulnerability. She stood tall in front of him, not willing to be cowed even by the Manc Lion but her eyes betrayed her, he could see the emotion surging through them, the fear and the indecision. He realised then that he didn't care whether she loved him, he wasn't afraid of her loving him, it was his own ability to love her back that he feared, to love her in the way that she deserved. He didn't do love, he never had, he wasn't sure if he could.

'Gene?'Alex prompted, brow creased with worry now.

He wondered how long he had been sat there staring at her.

'Not now Alex, I need… I need ter get me 'ead together. We're both off tomorrow I'll take you fer lunch or somethin' an' we can-' He broke off, 'talk' sounded horribly clichéd and ineffectual. 'I'll just pick you up about twelve okay?'

Alex nodded.


End file.
